For Now (Digimon: Kenta/Kazu)

[eeveee]

Your eyes are open. Does that mean that you just opened them, or that you never closed them in the first place? Not that I know, anyway. I closed mine, although I’m not really sure why. Probably because that’s what they do on TV and stuff, and I kinda understand why. It woulda been freaky staring into your eyes while… Jeez, how come now is the time I wonder about things like these?

Aren’t you going to say something? You sure seemed like you had enough to say earlier, and as I translated all your babbling this was what you wanted.

I hope…

If not, you sure asked for it anyway. It’s not my fault you’re being confusing.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Come on, Kazu, you look like somebody are offering to trade a pink hair clip for your Blackwargreymon foil.”

Hey! If anybody is rolling eyes at anybody here it’s me!

“Well I wasn’t the one who came here ‘confessing my feelings’ and all that crap, and when I’m trying to be nice this is all the thanks I get?”

“I didn’t think you liked me like that anyway, so excuse me for being confused when you first kiss me and then glare at me like that time I barfed all over your homework!”

“You’re not exactly a little beam of sunshine yourself either, you know.” And it’s entirely your own fault I don’t know why I still scowl at you, since you’re at least talking now. Oh, right. You’re being a dork.

“And what do you mean ‘trying to be nice’? So you kissed me, but don’t like me or anything like that?”

Dammit, can’t you just decide what you want and tell me, so I at least can consider the options before you start yelling at me?

“I thought you wanted me to kiss you!”

“Yeah, well, not if you did it just to be nice to me!”

Um… that kinda makes sense. I think.

Don’t tell me you’re going all silent again. Don’t you dare…

“Now what?!”

“What?”

“You’re doing it again!”

“Doing what?”

“Glaring at me! If it bothers you then just say so!”

Good grief, don’t you ever get satisfied?! You come here saying you ‘have a crush on me’ and that I probably don’t feel the same way but you thought you’d tell me anyway because this is really messing with your head, then I kiss you and you start bitching about it anyway, and now I can’t even look at you without doing something wrong?

You close your eyes this time, even before I as much as touch you. I do it, too, I realize. Maybe we do it so we’ll, like, sense it better, or something… if we’d kissed with eyes open we’d probably be too busy staring at each other to notice what kissing feels like.

Is it just me or should this really be disgusting? Like drinking of the same bottle of cola or something like that, just… even worse, because our mouths touch directly now. Ew. First class germ exchange. I’m just glad you’re not a girl or something. Wait… that’s not right…

I could get used to this, I think. I mean, ignoring that this is really, really icky with lips being all wet and slippery with spit and stuff, but it’s not bad or anything.

Now you’re blushing? I don’t get you.

“Why… why did you do that?” No offence here, Kenta, but it’s seriously creepy to hear you this quiet…

Err… I should say something. Yah. So…

“I like kissing you.”

“Oh.” Awkward silence. “Okay.” Off with glasses, polish them with that stupid handkerchief you has in your pocket like you always do when you don’t want to look somebody in the eyes. Come on! I hadn’t planned spending all day sitting here in this playground whale that’s gotten really tiny this last few months.

“So… what do we do now?”

“About what?”

“About this! I like you, and you like kissing me. What does that mean?”

“That…” Man, you sure now how to ask hard questions. What does this mean?

You like me. That’s a fact, because you told me so. I care about you, because you’re my best friend. And I’m pretty sure I like kissing you. But what does that mean? Do I like you because I like kissing you?

This is confusing.

“You don’t know either?” I shake my head in reply to that.

“We really should do something.” You know, I figured out that much on my own.

“Uh huh.”

“Like what?”

“Um…”

“…”

“Like forgetting about this just now and come back to it later, and instead vow that nobody hears about this?”

You nod at that, reaching out your hand.

“That works fine for me.”

“Then that’s settled.”

“For now.”

“Yeah.”

I don’t think this really helped all that much… we’re still sitting here, looking uncomfortably at each other.

Oh, what the hell.

I kiss you again. For the third time today. With my eyes closed.

Well, you don’t push me off or anything, so… well, I like kissing you. And you like me kissing you.

That’s enough.

For now, anyway.

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AN: This story is nearly six years old, and I had forgotten about its existence until I looked over the stats on FF.net yesterday and realized that this actually is my most popular story in terms of favs. I'm posting it here to bring a bit of Hirota joy over to LJ and because so many people liked it at the pit; but since I care so little for it myself, I can't be bothered to pretty it up for the new audience.

Seriously, six years old.